So I’ve done a lot of coming out lately, but it hasn’t been for me. Since Kai’s decision to transition, I’ve had a lot of explaining to do to the people around me. This is definitely not something I was expecting.
Honestly, it can be a bit frustrating at times. I constantly have to think about what I say and who I’m saying it to. It is difficult to keep track of who I have told and who I haven’t. Do they know her as Kara or do they know him as Kai? What if it’s a group of people and some know and some don’t? Sometimes, I just stutter over my words or awkwardly try and avoid names and/or pronouns all together.
Also, since I see Kai as a part of myself, ‘coming out’ to people is just as nerve racking as if it were about me. I do get embarrassed sometimes and I get nervous.
In a way, I do think this is good. It helps me to realize how he feels. I can better empathize. So when he says he’s nervous about telling someone in his family, I know how he feels..because I’m nervous about explaining it to some people in my family too.
So far I’m still working everything out. But in a few weeks, I think this should get easier.
Lesbian Partner of an FTM 